Archive for October, 2012


Blech, sometimes. I. Struggle.

I set a course based on what I believe to be true. And sometimes founder a bit.  I’m foundering.  Choices to be made.

They are not choices you would make.  Then again, you’re not me and don’t have my life.  I generally like my life. Blessed to have an amazing wife, kids, cars, house and no pets.

It’s odd really.  Many times when seeing an amazing performance whether on stage, musical, movie… my heart yearns. to be doing that. aches for it really. I’m heading that way but most days not fast enough.  I’m currently the only one in my house with that yearning.

Sometimes.  Would be nice to have someone to do it with. A good friend perhaps.

I must course adjust.  First, I must consider what the adjustment must be.  Don’t see a fundamental shift, no 180’s.  Not my style. In considering the adjustments I need to set a goal, a target an endpoint. Where I want to go.  

Assess. Where I’m at. Then the needed course correction should be clear. 

It’s an odd place to be at times. Not worries per se, contemplative. semi-heavy heart of which some is tied to flat out tiredness.

What is it that you want from someone? Did you tell them? Do you know and do they know? Hard for them to respond and answer if not. Ah, fear holds you back eh? Common malady among humans. Not for the faint of heart to be sure. And what if the choice isn’t quite accurate, well then, course correct my friend.

Too tired to write.  Probably shouldn’t publish… eh, it’s all just random stream of conscious type stuff. And helps get some random stuff out of my head.


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